I’ve recently completed a personal challenge. Two, actually but I’m reflecting on one in particular while writing this article. The challenge itself isn’t too important; the lessons learned from it are.
Since finishing the challenge, I’ve taken some time to enjoy the achievement and to enjoy the extra freedom in my days. I’ve also taken a little time to reflect on my experience so far, and how I can go forwards.
The back story
I needed to learn how to do things I said I would do. This may sound a little vague, but it’s actually pretty accurate. From things I said to myself to things I said to others, I realised I had fallen into a pattern of saying I would, could or should do something, but not actually doing it.
“I’ll help you with your application tomorrow.”
“It would be good to study every day from now on.”
“I’ll reply to that email on Wednesday.”
In general, none of the things were necessarily deal-breakers. Some of them were simply ideas, good intentions, thoughts that could be positive changes for me or others. But none of them were done, tested or tried.
They just hung around the back of my head, multiplying, and polluting my mental space. Filling me with a growing inability to act, weighing me down further and further. Something needed to give, and that something was me.
What I had to do
I committed to completing a number of activities per day, for a given number of days. I anticipated some tricky days ahead due to travel and prior engagements. A friend suggested I suspend the challenge for those days, but I chose to commit. The challenge isn’t designed to be easy, and I needed to learn my lesson: to do the things I say I’ll do.
Over the course of the challenge, I found different tasks difficult on different days. It would usually be due to a lack of something: time, organisation, inspiration, variation, enjoyment.
Despite these bumps, I completed everything, every day. Some days my performance may have been a little lacklustre but I performed every day.
So what did I learn?
Naturally, I want to say that I’ve learned how to do things I say I’ll do. Globally, yes, that’s true. But there’s more nuance to it than that.
I’ve learned that I can only commit to a limited number of things, and that my brain sneakily makes excuses to avoid doing ‘too much’. Five days into the challenge, I thought I could piggyback a few personal tasks onto my daily challenge tasks. Nuh-uh. Three to four days was all I could do then the excuses came creeping in. The core challenge tasks were all I could actually prioritise. Everything else was still negotiable.
So, disappointingly, I haven’t become a one-man efficiency machine. I procrastinate on admin tasks, housework and little ideas I have. Like making fresh bread rolls, using the bread machine to form the dough then baking the individual rolls in the oven. Something about the process feels too complicated so I keep putting it off. I say I’ll hoover - and I do - but it will be two to three days later.
Further, I have a complicated relationship with time, repetition and schedules. I know I’m not alone in this (see my previous post here). Part of me wanted to do the same thing every day. A larger, more dominant part, didn’t. Some tasks I was happy to schedule in for a certain time each day, get them done and tick them off. Other tasks seemed to demand a lot more internal negotiation. I went through phases of following a workout plan and phases of rejecting the plan. So I’m going to take some time to think about this: is this something that prevents me from doing things I say I’ll do?
There may be more for me to learn from this challenge
I want and need to revisit this again. I’ve learned my lesson in one sense, but still have so much more to learn in several other senses. I want this to be a permanent shift, a lifelong change that brings good things to my life and the lives of those I care about.
How this manifests itself going forwards, I’m unsure. But I’m glad to have completed the challenge. It gave me a purpose, a goal and choices to make. I’ve done something hard I said I would do.
